Conversations With The Past

They screamed, "Use him! Don't feel bad about it, there's more where it came from. You're a fool not to spend all he can afford. You're a fool not to use him at all!"

But I will be a bigger fool if I should think that I can outwit a man who has been at it longer than I have.


He said, "You're talented, intelligent, witty, and smart. You've got so much inside you. Hell, you could take on the world if you wanted to. I know people like you. You can have anything you fancy and you can become whatever you desire to be. But you're lazy...perhaps uninspired. And that, my friend, is the tragedy. And it will consequently, be your downfall."

I was never talented nor intelligent nor witty nor smart. There was never anything outstanding about me. You were right about one thing though, you DO know people like me. Because people like me? They're everywhere. I was, at best, a pretender and I fooled everyone, including myself. And that, my friend, is the real tragedy.


He sidled up to my left and breathed, "God you're so hot and sexy. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on baby."

Too bad, you're ugly. And I'm not a "thing".


He sent me an sms saying, "How could you do this to me? You're such a slut!"

It's not my fault that you were foolish enough to want me. And try not to get overly drunk and push your date to some random stranger. I am a slut and I will abandon you without remorse.


You whispered in my ear, "I love you. I want to fuck you hard and good."

Yeah, but that's just the alcohol talking, isn't it? You never wanted me and you never will. Stop trying to make me believe I was anything special to you. Stop making excuses for the heartless way you treated me. Just...please...
My heart can no longer love you and it never should have in the first place.


His voice was cool and calm though his beautiful brown eyes glowed with the anger of a spliced atom, "I came back for you. I'm trying to get a job here and it's all for you. I wouldn't care to return if it wasn't for you. I cannot believe you'd go out with someone like that. He's a cheater, a liar, and he thinks women are favours he can buy. Birds of a feather, flock together. Are you like him? I would like to believe that you've never betrayed me. Have you?"

If only he knew how I will rise from my grave and smite down all who tries to break him, if only he knew how I will shield his body with my spirit and let none hurt him, if only he knew how I am willing to give all of myself to him...but words cannot replace emotions.

I tried to kiss him.

He turned away.