Panic Attack

This is what happens when you sleep an average of 30 minutes a day for a whole week and there's work to be done and the client keeps hounding your ass because his clients keep hounding his ass and there's a deadline to meet and the herculean task of completing something, meant to be done in a span of a month, into five freaking days.

And so for the first time in my entire life, I had a nervous breakdown.

It's not funny and I'm serious.

I was utterly delirious not to mention out of my mind. Was pacing up and down the flat in anxiety. Ended up calling Jen and she did a good job trying to calm me down, "All right, breathe Yoke, breathe. Don't panic! There's no cause to panic! It's not a life and death situation. OK, now open and close your hands repeatedly, it'll help."

God knows what I babbled to my client either to explain why I can't produce any work today.

I hate having to do rush jobs like these. It' not so much the pressure or the pain but rather knowing that with all the effort I put in as well as the sleep and sanity I lose over it, I could've done a much, much better job, if only time was part of the equation.

But in this industry, Time is but a fictitious element. And I'm slow. So I don't think I'll ever fit in.

I saw an opening in Starbucks...am actually, in all due seriousness, considering working there. Could be fun...except I don't like coffee.

I don't even know why I'm blogging about this.