How To Get That Celebrity Look

Hey there everyone! Today, I am going to teach all of you how to get that coveted celebrity look. That's right! You, too, can look like a STAR!

Here're a few basic steps towards acquiring the glamour of certain celebs:


ANGELINA JOLIE

You will need:
1. 1000 bees
2. 1 peanut butter jar

Instructions:
1. Cram 1000 bees into peanut butter jar.
3. Slowly open jar and quickly place lips at jar opening.
4. Wait until lips are sufficiently swollen.
5. Remove lips from jar.
6. Talk with a phoney British accent.


OPRAH WINFREY

You will need:
1. 1 laundry bag
2. 3 weeks' worth of laundry
3. 1 clip-on microphone
4. Mum's 1980s Corporate Whore Jacket.

Instructions:
1. Put on Mum's 1980s Corporate Whore Jacket.
2. Stuff laundry into laundry bag.
3. Stuff laundry bag under jacket.
4. Clip on microphone.
5. Talk shit. Especially regarding topics like "women issues".
NOTE: For maximum effect, bake self under the sun until skin is dark brown before attempting steps 1 - 5.


PRINCE CHARLES:

You will need:
1. 1000 bees
2. 1 peanut butter jar
3. 1 tart

Instructions:
1. Follow as per instructions for "ANGELINA JOLIE" except replace lips with nose.
2. Have scandalous affair with tart.


MICHAEL JACKSON

You will need:
1. 1 basin of acid.
2. 4 plastic mineral water bottles (preferably Evian)
3. 1 bottle of white face paint
4. 10 children (preferably from broken homes)

Instructions:
1. Douse face in acid.
2. Apply white face paint on face.
3. Melt plastic mineral water bottles.
4. Stick melted plastic mineral water bottles at random parts of the face. Nose is mandatory.
5. Preach to children about Love and Peace.
6. Fondle them.
NOTE: Ensure that plastic piece attached to nose will fall off and has to be reattached every 5 minutes. Also, walk around clutching your crotch and scream, "Ouw!" whenever nose-piece falls off.


VINTAGE MADONNA

You will need:
1. 2 party hats
2. 1 pair of tits

Instructions:
1. Cup party hats over tits.
2. Gyrate around suggestively and tell everyone to be vogue and groove to the music.



Remember, Cleo magazine doesn't have all the inside scoop to make you glitter in the skies above the rest of humanity.

*I* do.