A Box Full of Kryptonite and Iron

For the past week I've been in absolute pain. And I mean AB-SO-LUTE pain. Not only am I unemployed and penniless (the last I checked, my bank account balance was RM10), but my boyfriend had to tell me that he couldn't make it back to KL (so we broke up), and the only other person I had given my heart to could not love me in return. It was just too much heartache in one week. My self-esteem is at rock bottom while my self-doubt is sky high.

And then The Powers That Be decided that mental and emotional torture was not enough. Physical pain must be inflicted as well. I developed a massive fever and a mysterious painful lump on my neck a couple of days ago, and I was supposed to go home to Ipoh on the 10.00pm bus with my brother on that same night. I managed to board the bus but it was pure shit because no matter what I did or where I shifted my body, the air-con kept blowing at my face. I had to put on three shirts and huddle up like a hobo in a cardboard box before it became somewhat bearable. Somewhat.

The next evening I went to the doctor's and when I got home I told my mum I've got fever and a lymph node infection at my neck. Mum wanted to take a closer look so I tilted my head upwards to show her. The first thing she did was jab her finger at it. HARD. And asked, "Pain ah?"

I almost pissed in my pants.

But since I'm already 24 years old, pissing in my pants would be a serious embarassment, so I just gave a loud yell and smacked Mum's hand away.

Dad saw the whole thing and started reprimanding Mum, who tried to defend herself by saying she was just anxious to see if I was ok. But Dad wouldn't stop scolding and Mum started to pout and there was this commotion going on and my body temperature was soaring at 45 degrees and I was having a throbbing headache and my muscle joints were on fire and my eyeballs felt like they were going to explode any moment and I've a swollen lymph node that looks like an ingrown testicle on my neck and my brother was blasting his mp3s and the cat ran inside the house and started mewing and there was all this noise going on...

"Enoughlah!!!" I screamed, almost popping said infected lymph node while at it. I turned to my father, "Dad, it's Father's Day. Why don't you go outside and watch some TV?"

I've no idea how watching TV is related to Father's Day but it seemed like the proper thing to say then. But hey, watching TV can be a ceremonious occasion. Really.

Dad went out to stare at the idiot box and Mum was still pouting. "I just wanted to see if you're ok."

"I know, Ma" I said and patted her on the hand.

Sigh. It's good to have family. Especially when some friends and lovers have been so disappointing. Sometimes, I'm tempted to harden my heart to people and become a little more cruel but something tells me it's not right. There're enough cynical and loveless individuals in this world as it is, one more wouldn't help, would it? At the moment, I'm still far from peachy but I can handle it. I have to. Then again, I'm Yoke. Nothing can keep me down for long. That's what Jude always tells me.

Oh well I'm just rambling. Fever does this to me. Better take my meds and hit the sack.