Damn You Murphy! Damn You!!!

Murphy's Law states that when life's a big turd, too fucking bad, because more people/cows/random organisms that crap a lot are just gonna further shit on it.

You see, as if having a bitching testicle on my neck isn't bad enough, some mosquitoes have to take a piece of me there too. I have TWO bites on my swollen lymph node. It itches worse than the fanny of a whore who hadn't gotten laid in 10 years and it makes me look like I've miniature siamese twin nipples growing on a testicle on my neck. I know, it doesn't seem like much of a problem, does it? What's up with a couple of mozzy bites, right? I mean, this is Malaysia! EVERYBODY gets bitten by mozzies ALL the time, right?

Not if it's on an infected lymph node. Here, let me put it in a simple equation to allow you to better understand the severity of the situation:

major itch = constant scratching = regular application of pressure on lymph node = sakit gila babi macam pantat dara kena cucuk kali pertama.

And why two bites??? It's almost like a couple of mosquitoes decided to park there at the same time and have a little picnic lunch. Why there? Did the lump make that area of skin seemed more attractive??? Maybe it looked like a nice, hilly area to relax and have a drink.

Like wow! How romantic! Picnic on a hill!

*flashes muka tulan*

And anybody who tries to make a mozzy love-bite joke at me will get a kick in the groin. Yes girls, it can hurt for you too. So shut the hell up.

Plus, the antibiotics I'm taking makes everything I eat taste like watery porridge, which, come to think of it, shouldn't really mean shit because that's what I've been eating for the past few days anyways (until today). While everyone was tucking in to Mum's Father's Day dishes like steamed big-ass prawns, baked salted good-shit chicken, and orgasmic-inducing stewed pork, I had to tuck in to watery porridge and pickled vegetables. WATERY PORRIDGE AND PICKLED VEGETABLES!

*flashes muka aku-tak-percaya-oh-tidak!!!*

Also, the antibiotics leave a terrible aftertaste at the back of my throat which lasts for hours after taking a pop.

Kinda like cum.

*momentary silence as Yoke lapses into deep thought*

I've a testicle hanging under my head and a perpetual taste of cum on my throat...

...by the sweet nipples of Venus!!! *GASP*


I'm literally a dickhead!!!


Fuck this shit. Karma is taking a joy-ride up my ass.