Oh Jessey B. Good!

Jessey and I, we would have made the ultimate quirky love story. Chance collides with coincidence countered with cheekiness.

You see, we didn’t meet while in school or college and held hands on our way to classes; neither did we meet in a club and exchanged phone numbers and tongues amidst the hypnotic beats of house; nor through mutual friends, over coffee and conversation, who thought we’d be “cool together”.

I never knew answering an ad looking for live fish would mark the start of someone new in my life. To cut a long story short, I needed to get to the interview location, Jessey provided the map with some funny remarks in the email; I replied to express my gratitude, Jessey answered through an sms. From then on, it was one laugh-out-loud sms after another. It lasted for hours...until we were standing before each other, grinning.

At the end, I wasn’t the sort of live fish the advertisers were looking for, but who cares, I met someone interesting. Whoever heard of walking out of an interview with a new friend instead of a new job? Yeah, it could happen...but what are the chances?

Yeah, it would have been the ultimate quirky love story...if Jessey was a man.

Rock-A-Bye-Baby

You and I on a rocking chair,
Your fingers running through my hair.
I on you, you in me,
Wanting us so desperately.
Sway to the back, swing to the front,
To and fro, the dance has begun.
To and fro, to and fro,
Over and over, don't let go;
To and fro, to and fro,
Thrice the pleasure in a row.
You and I on a rocking chair,
A heated stallion and his ready mare.

Lightning Lucas and the Speed Demon

Once upon a time, in the distant days of yore,
There unfurled a tale which never was told before,
For it happened so quickly that but a few beheld,
So what really transpired none could surely tell.

When stormy clouds rage the heavens, tearing the earth asunder,
‘Twas not always so that lightning came before thunder,
The skies would flicker and explode without rhythm or beat,
Until a young boy and a red demon came to meet.

‘Twas a finch by the window which sang the tale to me,
As the songs of birds speak the old truths, you see,
Now gather around as I regale it for ye to listen,
The remarkable race of Lightning Lucas and the Speed Demon.

Lucas was a lad and he was eight years old,
Though tender of age, he was fearless and bold,
He was faster than the wind and as quick as light,
And before the leaves could rustle, he was out of sight!

Hence he came to be called Lightning by his friends and kin,
And they boasted of his swiftness to all who came within
The gates of the village: merchants and others who tour by their side,
And so it was that Lightning Lucas became known far and wide.

Many were the mouths that spoke of his ability,
And soon more was told than just his velocity,
“He is as tall as the trees on the mountains!” some have claimed,
“He can lift houses with just one arm and subdue beasts untamed!”

Many words were misconstrued, too many to be noted,
But the tallest tale was told when an old fool quoted,
“I’ve heard it said as much as anyone can tell
He can run faster than the Speed Demon in Hell!”

So insulted was the Speed Demon when he heard,
He stomped on his two hooves and tore out his beard!
“My fleetness is unequaled and I can outrun all with ease!
“I will crush Lightning Lucas and bring him to his knees!”

So off the Speed Demon went in search of Lightning Lucas:
The swiftest of Adam’s sons, as swift as He could make us;
Thinking to himself as he blazed through a field,
“The greater of the two shall very soon be unveiled.”

He reached the home of Lucas and knocked at the door,
Bracing himself, though a great demon, he had heard before,
“Lightning Lucas could kill ten giants with a strike of his hand!”
Even a fearsome demon should respect such a man!

The door opened and lo! What did he find standing there?
A skinny little boy with brown eyes and hair,
Grinning from ear to ear like a clown in a circus,
“What dost thou want? I am Lightning Lucas!”

The demon was tall, with horns and skin of flaming red,
So terrifying was he that he could frighten grown men dead,
But Lucas though tender of age, was fearless and bold,
He simply stood his ground and grinned, or so I was told.

“What is this trickery? Thou art nought but a boy!
Nay! Even if I shame thee, my heart can feel no joy!”
He could not believe his status could be bested by a child,
That was until Lucas gave the demon a cheeky little smile.

“Do not be too certain, though a fledgling I may be,
If I can outrun any man or beast, I can outrun thee!”
The demon laughed loudly though he was quite awed,
That such a wee little man should bear the courage of a god.

“Very well!” said he, “we shall then have a race,
Thence we can see who art the nimbler in pace!
O Little One, I shall let thee choose in this event
Whence we will begin and whence we must end.”

Lucas pointed to a glowing red dot at the mountain,
“Yonder on top is the woodcutter’s hut and lantern,
That is the spot from which our race will conclude
And we shall start right here, no delay nor interlude!”

One, two, three! And the race had begun!
Boy and demon sped towards the setting sun,
The demon on his hooves kicked up a cloud of dust
While Lucas in his leather shoes kicked up not a fuss.

The Speed Demon was leading; he was certainly much faster,
Galloping up the mountain, he was imbued with hellish power,
Lightning Lucas, quick as he was, ye must still remember,
He was but a boy, while the demon was infinitely greater.

Lucas was not afraid, not even the tiniest bit!
Though small of size, he was not small of wit,
He had watched the demon and made observations,
He had chosen that mountain to exploit his limitations.

The demon kept on running, oblivious to the plan
Until he came to a patch of heavily wooded land,
The foliage was thick and their branches hung low,
When he tried to cross he found he could not go!

His mighty horns were caught among the branches of a tree,
He struggled and he fought but still he could not get free!
Then he heard a boyish laughter coming from behind,
Now he knew what the young lad truly had in mind.

“O thou art a wretched little fry to try and trick me so!
When I catch thee Little One, I shall break thee with a blow!”
But still his horns were locked, no matter what he said,
So with all his demonic might he wrenched them off his head!

Though by now Lucas was far ahead of his trail,
The demon was catching up and closing on his tail,
He looked extremely furious, puffing and fuming away,
But Lucas was not afraid as he had one more trick to play!

Further in front the dying sunlight sparkled and shone
On a long, winding road of glittering rock and stone,
This road stretched all the way to the top of the mountain,
To the end of the race: the woodcutter’s hut and lantern.

The demon’s great hooves pounded on the ground,
‘Twas not long before he heard a strange sound,
He looked all about, then looked down at the track,
Nay! His hooves were beginning to break and crack!

Lucas knew that neither horse nor mule could choose
To run on the rocky road without their iron shoes,
For their horned feet will fracture on solid, hard land,
And they will be forced to limp till help comes to hand.

The demon began to slow as his feet began to ache,
The sharp, shooting pain was more than he could take,
But Lucas, snug in his little shoes of cured cowhide,
Had but nought to worry and hastened his stride.

Lucas laughed gaily and dashed off to the finish,
As the sight of the demon began to diminish,
The demon, in anguish, gave a terrible roar,
He knew he had lost, he knew he was done for.

Though he had won, Lucas was in strife,
Surely the demon would come to claim his life,
“‘Tis best to face the demon and get it over and done!”
Even at eight years of age, he was a brave little one.

But when he returned, the demon was smiling,
“O Little One, thou art most cunning!
To outwit one like I, I am very impressed!
Still, thou art the victor, nevertheless.”

Lucas had bested him; the demon had to admit,
Though born a better speedster, he had lost in wit.
So he had decided to graciously accept his defeat,
As Lucas sat beside him and bandaged his feet.

Demon and boy had raced with such swiftness
That none saw them at all, so none bore witness
Save for the Elder Sky, who saw all that happened,
And determined that the story shall be made a legend.

He whispered the tale to the birds when they gathered in crowds,
And commemorated the event by the brushing of heavy clouds,
So ye can see now Lightning Lucas flashing over valley and hill
And the Speed Demon roaring thunderously behind him still.